To sleep or not to sleep; that is the question
Of course, the answer is to sleep. But when, where, how? Short answer, whenever you can, wherever you can, and however you can. Simple, right? Not so much!
You see, after having expanders sewn into your chest walls, sleep can be a bit challenging. I say this with a hint of sarcasm. The reality is, it’s very challenging. For the first 4-6 weeks, in order to have an optimal outcome, you’ll need to sleep sitting up – pretty much. Expanders create a pocket for the implants after the exchange surgery. You’ll absolutely want everything to go as smoothly as possible. Therefore, following the doctor’s instructions is very important.
This is all fine and good – of course we are going to listen to what the doctor says. Here’s the thing, the more you sleep, the faster your body heals. I’m not kidding when I write to sleep wherever and whenever. If you’re sitting on the couch and you feel tired, sleep. Your body will thank you for it. I’ve heard that a recliner works wonderfully for sleep. A friend of mine was going through her own breast cancer journey at the same time as me. She said the recliner was the best way for her to sleep.
We have a few recliners in our living room. However, they do not open or close easily. Therefore, I spent quite a bit of time sleeping with my pillow. Though I purchased mine at Costco, you can find a similar (and honestly better) reading pillow here on Amazon! (Ah the convenience of getting things delivered directly to your front door. Listen, during this journey, making things as simple as possible is key.) This pillow was a great backdrop for other pillows to be stacked up against. You’re just going to have to play around with the pillows to figure out what works best for you. I took this pillow into the living room with me every morning. It was my “strength training.” Being able to move this simple object made me feel more empowered.
Sleeping sitting up is cumbersome for someone who usually sleeps on their side or stomach. As a side sleeper, I had a difficult time transitioning to my back and sitting up. There were plenty of sleepless nights at first. This led to my mind racing and going down the rabbit hole to have a few visits with Alice. Not fun. I researched the type of cancer that tried to take over. I researched all of my healing options. I watched reels endlessly. I stared at the ceiling more than I care to admit. Eventually, sheer exhaustion takes over and you learn to sleep sitting up. Because, again, your body needs sleep to heal.
For the couch, I also had a pillow I could sit on. There wasn’t much else I could do within the first two weeks of surgery other than sit and sleep. I created pretty things with diamond art, watched Teen Wolf with our German daughter, and slept. My appetite was minimal. Therefore, I didn’t eat much. But I made sure to keep drinking water — lots and lots of water.
If you take a shower and it wears you out, sleep. If walking to the mailbox is exhausting, feel free to sleep afterwards. I give you permission to sleep when your body asks for it. Show yourself the kindness you would show your best friend. Give yourself permission to rest and to sleep. Since sleep for the first 2-3 weeks is sporadic, it’s important to take advantage of it when you’re able.
The world will continue even if you’re a passive member. The absolute most important part of your healing is sleeping – water is a close second. And if you’re anything like me, you’re going to only remember glimpses of your reality after surgery anyway.
You’ll get your energy back. In time, you’ll be able to feel your new normal again. There were plenty of days on my healing journey which were excruciatingly annoying because I couldn’t move the way I did before the cancer invaded my existence. Oh, it was plenty frustrating. Now, here, on the other side of it all, I am eternally grateful to be able to discover my newest and best version of myself. I’m going to be able to enjoy motorcycle rides again this season. I’m going to be able to pull weeds and plant a beautiful garden. I’m going to be able to have friends over for bonfires without sleeping the next day to recover. There are endless “I’m going to’s”. I’m going to keep sharing my story in hopes to give at least one person hope on their cancer journey. I’m going to live my absolute best life.
Until next time,
Orsika