The Practical & Real Side of Life after Surgery

Last week, I wrote about preparing for surgery after you are given the cancer news. This week, we’re going to take a look at the very real, and sometimes silly, ways you can make your life much easier after a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. (I write about this specific surgery because it’s what I endured.) However, the reality is, many of the suggestions can be applicable to various surgeries. At the end of it all, my goal is to help you and your loved one find humorous and practical ways to heal through recovery.

As mentioned in previous blogs, your care team is the most important part of your healing journey. Just to be clear, your care team includes your doctors, family, and friends. This is not the time for fickle relationships or those who stress you out (even if it is a family member). If you’ve struggled with boundaries in the past (as many of us have), this journey will hopefully help you set up boundaries a bit more definitively. Start small with each boundary and each person. You can answer messages on your time. You may have someone upset about it, but that’s a them concern – try not to make it yours. Your biggest concern, right now, is healing. Those who truly love you will respect your process and support you in any way they can – including waiting on responses to messages from any modality. 

After surgery, your life will change in ways you never even considered. For example, you probably didn’t spend much time thinking about getting in and out of bed. Now, you will. The first few days are going to be challenging. Make sure you have a step stool or something to hold on to. I would highly recommend a sitting up pillow. Your doctor will recommend you sleep sitting up for 4-6 weeks. Your quality of sleep will be vastly different if you’re not used to sleeping on your back. Remember, taking naps when you feel tired is completely acceptable.  (Here is a link to a sitting pillow on Amazon. I like that it comes with a light and pockets. I bought mine at Costco without pockets or a light. However, if I had it to do all over, I’d get something similar to this.) Prepare an end table if you don’t already have one. There should be enough space for your medication and water. The water jug should be lightweight and easy to manipulate: meaning, nothing fancy that requires twisting a top or popping open to access the straw. (If you have breast expanders, the simplest of tasks will be taxing for a few weeks. I kid you not.)

In the previous blog titled A Few, Simple Recommendations for Your Cancer Surgery, I suggested you purchase comfy pajamas that are easy to use. Here’s why… going to the bathroom. Listen, you have something sewn into your chest muscles. You will quickly learn that certain movements are rather uncomfortable. Yoga pants will be less than ideal. Your chest muscles will more than likely be quite displeased with you. Get the comfy pajamas, the loose fitting sweatpants, or the super cute zipper robe. I lived in my zipper robe for the first week. (Yes, I washed it regularly.) This was, by far, one of my best purchases for recovery. 

Speaking of the bathroom, get ready for showers to be exhausting. But, I promise it’ll get easier and better as you continue to heal. It’s a simple recommendation, but please take the advice. I would encourage you to only complete one task per shower. For example, if you wash your hair one day, then shave the next. Or, don’t do either and just stand/sit in the shower. I would highly recommend a shower chair and three towels for afterwards. One towel will go on the toilet seat so you can sit while drying off. The other will go on your head to dry your hair. And the third will be used on your body. Self-care is of the utmost importance. Remember to get light towels, not the fancy heavy ones. The fancy, heavy towels will more than likely be too heavy for you to manipulate on your own. 

Getting dressed and undressed can also be exhausting. I vividly remember taking a shower and then napping for three hours within that first two weeks (if not longer) after surgery. Wearing loose fitting clothes is not only more comfortable, but also uses less energy to put on and take off. I wanted nothing more than to at least look “normal” after my surgeries. That wasn’t the time. Post-surgery is the time to heal and love yourself enough to allow your body to do what it needs to do in order to fully recover. 

Within a week of this major surgery (mine took 6 hours), you’ll have a post-surgery doctor’s appointment. Getting in and out of the car will take more time than you may anticipate. It may also be a bit more challenging than you might think. Give yourself extra time. Be kind to yourself as you breathe through the process. 

Remember how easily you could open a refrigerator or freezer? Well… you still can but the method is going to be different. After surgery, you’ll do a lot of squats because leaning forward will pull on the incisions. You’ll squat your way to a fine back side. Your abs will also get quite the workout. 

The expander on my left side pinched a nerve on my side. At first, when I moved a certain way, the pain it caused was almost unbearable. It felt like someone was putting a cigarette out inside of me. Yes. It was that bad. As a matter of fact, because of this, there was a morning it took me an hour and a half to get out of bed. Whichever way I moved, my side flared up, and I simply didn’t push through the pain. I attempted a number of ways to get out of bed. Finally, I sucked it up and pushed through the pain. 

I’m telling you this to give you comfort in knowing you will heal, the pain will subside, and you will be past this season in your life. Very rarely do people get this level of nerve damage from expanders. My right side worked perfectly. It was the cancer side that chose to be a booga-boo. 

I sincerely hope these insights are helpful to you and your caretaker. I hope you keep being kind to yourself. If you get moments where you’re super frustrated, just pretend you’re the caretaker. How would you be with your best friend who’s going through cancer? You’d be patient, understanding, and kind. Be those attributes for yourself as well. You deserve it and your healing will be quicker for it.

Until next time,

Orsika Julia

P.S. Yes, there are Amazon affiliate links in this writing. They are there as a guide for you – to make decisions a bit easier.