Orsika

To sleep or not to sleep; that is the question Of course, the answer is to sleep. But when, where, how? Short answer, whenever you can, wherever you can, and however you can. Simple, right? Not so much! You see, after having expanders sewn into your chest walls, sleep can be a bit challenging. I say this with a hint of sarcasm. The reality is, it’s very challenging. For the first 4-6 weeks, in order to have an optimal outcome, you’ll need to sleep sitting up – pretty much. Expanders create a pocket for the implants after the exchange surgery. You’ll absolutely want everything to go as smoothly as possible. Therefore, following the doctor’s instructions is very important.  This is all fine and good – of course we are going to listen to what the doctor says. Here’s the thing, the more you sleep, the faster your body heals. I’m not kidding when I write to sleep wherever and whenever. If you’re sitting on the couch and you feel tired, sleep. Your body will thank you for it. I’ve heard that a recliner works wonderfully for sleep. A friend of mine was going through her own breast cancer journey at the same time as me. She said the recliner was the best way for her to sleep. We have a few recliners in our living room. However, they do not open or close easily. Therefore, I spent quite a bit of time sleeping with my pillow. Though I purchased mine at Costco, you can find a similar (and honestly better) reading pillow here on Amazon! (Ah the convenience of getting things delivered directly to your front door. Listen, during this journey, making things as simple as possible is key.) This pillow was a great backdrop for other pillows to be stacked up against. You’re just going to have to play around with the pillows to figure out what works best for you. I took this pillow into the living room with me every morning. It was my “strength training.” Being able to move this simple object made me feel more empowered.  Sleeping sitting up is cumbersome for someone who usually sleeps on their side or stomach. As a side sleeper, I had a difficult time transitioning to my back and sitting up. There were plenty of sleepless nights at first. This led to my mind racing and going down the rabbit hole to have a few visits with Alice. Not fun. I researched the type of cancer that tried to take over. I researched all of my healing options. I watched reels endlessly. I stared at the ceiling more than I care to admit. Eventually, sheer exhaustion takes over and you learn to sleep sitting up. Because, again, your body needs sleep to heal. For the couch, I also had a pillow I could sit on. There wasn’t much else I could do within the first two weeks of surgery other than sit and sleep. I created pretty things with diamond art, watched Teen Wolf with our German daughter, and slept. My appetite was minimal. Therefore, I didn’t eat much. But I made sure to keep drinking water — lots and lots of water. If you take a shower and it wears you out, sleep. If walking to the mailbox is exhausting, feel free to sleep afterwards. I give you permission to sleep when your body asks for it. Show yourself the kindness you would show your best friend. Give yourself permission to rest and to sleep. Since sleep for the first 2-3 weeks is sporadic, it’s important to take advantage of it when you’re able. The world will continue even if you’re a passive member. The absolute most important part of your healing is sleeping – water is a close second. And if you’re anything like me, you’re going to only remember glimpses of your reality after surgery anyway. You’ll get your energy back. In time, you’ll be able to feel your new normal again. There were plenty of days on my healing journey which were excruciatingly annoying because I couldn’t move the way I did before the cancer invaded my existence. Oh, it was plenty frustrating. Now, here, on the other side of it all, I am eternally grateful to be able to discover my newest and best version of myself. I’m going to be able to enjoy motorcycle rides again this season. I’m going to be able to pull weeds and plant a beautiful garden. I’m going to be able to have friends over for bonfires without sleeping the next day to recover. There are endless “I’m going to’s”. I’m going to keep sharing my story in hopes to give at least one person hope on their cancer journey. I’m going to live my absolute best life.  Until next time, Orsika

Truth be told, it sucks – the medical side of cancer is not as challenging as the emotional and mental side. However, it still sucks. The good news is that it will eventually be done. You will overcome the discomfort, the exhaustion, the restrictions, and everything else that happens to you physically. You could end up with Frozen Shoulder, or a myriad of other side effects, but even those can heal. I’m not saying this to scare you. I’m simply keeping your expectations real.  If you’ve been reading my recent blogs, you know enough about me to know I’m a breast cancer warrior. In May 2024, the diagnosis stopped us in our tracks. Then the whirlwind of doctors’ appointments and surgeries began. Thankfully, because the cancer was detected early, chemotherapy and/or radiation were not a part of our journey.  In last week’s blog The Practical & Real Side of Life after Surgery, I shared practical ways of managing post-surgery life. It covered important suggestions about getting in and out of bed, showering, and emptying the dishwasher – just to name a few.  The medical side of post-surgery is a bit less intense if your surgery is successful and no infections creep into your body. With a bilateral mastectomy, you will be sent home with two drains – one for each side. The nurses and doctors will teach you how to take care of these drains. But… you might be on a healthy helping of pain meds, and you may not fully remember the instructions. (This is the #1 reason to have your caretaker with you when you’re being taught how to care for the drains at home.) Make sure to keep your printed out version of instructions close to you. This will allow you to review the paperwork when your brain decides to keep you awake! Before surgery, I purchased two bras with special drain holder hooks. I didn’t use either one of them. In my case, I was told not to wear a bra for a number of weeks afterwards. We made the decision to undergo reconstructive surgery at the same time as the bilateral mastectomy. Because of this, bras were prohibited. (It was important to keep the stitches free from any irritation.)   Your new found friends, the drains, are quirky little things. Logically, you’ll realize they’re helping you heal your body. Emotionally, you will more than likely acquire a love/hate relationship with them. If the hospital doesn’t send you home with a lanyard to pin the drains on, please find yourself a lanyard – it will make showering a whole lot easier. You’ll also need to get a measuring cup so you can adequately measure your fluid. I’d recommend going to your local thrift store to pick up something small, plastic, and lightweight. Let’s be honest here, after those drains come out, the measuring cup will find a new home in the wastebasket. (Who would want to use that in the kitchen afterwards??? No, thank you!!!) If you have a dog, don’t be surprised if he stays clear of you while you’re befriending these two little drains. My soul puppy did not want anything to do with me when I had the drains. He could smell it all and didn’t know what was going on. He only knew Mama didn’t smell like she normally does. The odor of plastic was strong. Maybe he didn’t know how to help me. It was sweet of him to want to be in the same room as me, but he kept his distance.  At my post-op doctor’s visit, one of my drains was removed. That’s when I started losing my balance. I found myself leaning to the side with the drain – as though it was pulling me down on that side. Thankfully, I was able to keep myself from falling over, but it was challenging at times. I found the grabber quite useful. Not only did it keep my balance, it helped me pick things up more easily.  Drains can be icky. But they’re necessary to keep your body free from infection. Remember, it’s temporary. Another temporary part of post-op recovery is taking your medication. Make sure to take it on time for the first three to five days post-surgery. This will help you recover more quickly. I’m one to “tough things out.” In doing so, I sometimes hinder my body from healing as quickly as possible. There will be plenty of other opportunities in your life to tough things out. I tremendously appreciate my sensitive body for letting me know what medications work and which ones are harmful. Listen to your body. It will tell you what’s good and what could use adjusting. If you’re on pain medication, do your research of the side effects. I had four pretty major side effects with my pain medication. I was taking it as directed for the first week until I noticed changes in my skin and body. Once I stopped taking the medication, the symptoms cleared up and healing was actually back on track. My body was working on combating too many things at once. If you have questions, please please please reach out to your doctors. Be your best advocate. Your doctors won’t know there’s something amiss unless you inform them. You have a care team to care for you. As per anything in life, we all have different responses to our circumstances. All I’m recommending is for you to be aware of the changes in your body and speak up when something feels off. Trust yourself. Trust in your caretaker as well. They want you to heal just as much as you do.  Post-surgery recovery isn’t easy. There will be moments when you’ll want to cry and moments when you actually will cry. You’re not weak. You are strong, and brave, and a warrior. Until next time,Orsika Julia

Last week, I wrote about preparing for surgery after you are given the cancer news. This week, we’re going to take a look at the very real, and sometimes silly, ways you can make your life much easier after a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. (I write about this specific surgery because it’s what I endured.) However, the reality is, many of the suggestions can be applicable to various surgeries. At the end of it all, my goal is to help you and your loved one find humorous and practical ways to heal through recovery. As mentioned in previous blogs, your care team is the most important part of your healing journey. Just to be clear, your care team includes your doctors, family, and friends. This is not the time for fickle relationships or those who stress you out (even if it is a family member). If you’ve struggled with boundaries in the past (as many of us have), this journey will hopefully help you set up boundaries a bit more definitively. Start small with each boundary and each person. You can answer messages on your time. You may have someone upset about it, but that’s a them concern – try not to make it yours. Your biggest concern, right now, is healing. Those who truly love you will respect your process and support you in any way they can – including waiting on responses to messages from any modality.  After surgery, your life will change in ways you never even considered. For example, you probably didn’t spend much time thinking about getting in and out of bed. Now, you will. The first few days are going to be challenging. Make sure you have a step stool or something to hold on to. I would highly recommend a sitting up pillow. Your doctor will recommend you sleep sitting up for 4-6 weeks. Your quality of sleep will be vastly different if you’re not used to sleeping on your back. Remember, taking naps when you feel tired is completely acceptable.  (Here is a link to a sitting pillow on Amazon. I like that it comes with a light and pockets. I bought mine at Costco without pockets or a light. However, if I had it to do all over, I’d get something similar to this.) Prepare an end table if you don’t already have one. There should be enough space for your medication and water. The water jug should be lightweight and easy to manipulate: meaning, nothing fancy that requires twisting a top or popping open to access the straw. (If you have breast expanders, the simplest of tasks will be taxing for a few weeks. I kid you not.) In the previous blog titled A Few, Simple Recommendations for Your Cancer Surgery, I suggested you purchase comfy pajamas that are easy to use. Here’s why… going to the bathroom. Listen, you have something sewn into your chest muscles. You will quickly learn that certain movements are rather uncomfortable. Yoga pants will be less than ideal. Your chest muscles will more than likely be quite displeased with you. Get the comfy pajamas, the loose fitting sweatpants, or the super cute zipper robe. I lived in my zipper robe for the first week. (Yes, I washed it regularly.) This was, by far, one of my best purchases for recovery.  Speaking of the bathroom, get ready for showers to be exhausting. But, I promise it’ll get easier and better as you continue to heal. It’s a simple recommendation, but please take the advice. I would encourage you to only complete one task per shower. For example, if you wash your hair one day, then shave the next. Or, don’t do either and just stand/sit in the shower. I would highly recommend a shower chair and three towels for afterwards. One towel will go on the toilet seat so you can sit while drying off. The other will go on your head to dry your hair. And the third will be used on your body. Self-care is of the utmost importance. Remember to get light towels, not the fancy heavy ones. The fancy, heavy towels will more than likely be too heavy for you to manipulate on your own.  Getting dressed and undressed can also be exhausting. I vividly remember taking a shower and then napping for three hours within that first two weeks (if not longer) after surgery. Wearing loose fitting clothes is not only more comfortable, but also uses less energy to put on and take off. I wanted nothing more than to at least look “normal” after my surgeries. That wasn’t the time. Post-surgery is the time to heal and love yourself enough to allow your body to do what it needs to do in order to fully recover.  Within a week of this major surgery (mine took 6 hours), you’ll have a post-surgery doctor’s appointment. Getting in and out of the car will take more time than you may anticipate. It may also be a bit more challenging than you might think. Give yourself extra time. Be kind to yourself as you breathe through the process.  Remember how easily you could open a refrigerator or freezer? Well… you still can but the method is going to be different. After surgery, you’ll do a lot of squats because leaning forward will pull on the incisions. You’ll squat your way to a fine back side. Your abs will also get quite the workout.  The expander on my left side pinched a nerve on my side. At first, when I moved a certain way, the pain it caused was almost unbearable. It felt like someone was putting a cigarette out inside of me. Yes. It was that bad. As a matter of fact, because of this, there was a morning it took me an hour and a half to get out of bed. Whichever way I moved, my side flared up, and I simply didn’t push through the pain. I attempted a number

There is an endless list of tasks and doctors appointments when you hear the words, “It’s cancer.” It’s exhausting to wrap your mind around the word itself. It’s exhausting to figure out your new schedule with the appointments. It’s exhausting to not sleep because your mind is constantly racing, searching for information, figuring out your day-to-day life.  My particular brand was breast cancer. We chose a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. (If you’d like to read about the details, you can find them in my blog named The Beginning.) There were 5 surgeries in 7 months. Thankfully, the cancer was caught early and therefore didn’t require chemo or radiation. I’m sharing this with you so you’re aware of my starting point.  Cancer involves surgery – usually multiple. It’s important to remember to take care of yourself before and after surgery. The more you take care of yourself and listen to your doctor, the more easily you’ll heal. I cannot stress this enough. When your doctor recommends resting, please rest. If you don’t trust your care team emphatically, please find a new team. This journey is like no other. It will challenge you more than you ever thought possible. Your care team is vital in your recovery.  Another thing that is vital to a successful recovery is water. Water keeps your medications and food working through your body as they should. Water keeps your entire system as healthy as possible. If you’re not a big water drinker, try adding a flavor. There are various options at your local grocery store. I realize this might sound simple, but it’s important to remember the little things when you’re preparing for surgery.  Many people may overlook the importance of skincare. Finding the right lotion to keep your skin soft, believe it or not, will also help your recovery. I looked at various skin care regimens – from oils to shea butter body lotion. What worked best for me was (and is still) Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula Firming Body Lotion. Cancer will flip your world upside down. Your consistent routine from before the diagnosis will be a thing of the past. You’ll need to find a new routine – which may not be the easiest thing to do. But here’s the truth of it all, you can find a new routine and consistency with the simplest of things – like your skincare routine. Give yourself grace and show yourself kindness when all you can handle is applying lotion. What helped me get my body moving was telling myself to apply lotion at least once a day. It became my routine. It gave me a purpose. Again, it sounds simple – but simple for everyone else can be a pretty big accomplishment for you after surgery.  Okay, enough about the lotion. There are a number of other things to take care of before your surgery. For example, I’d highly recommend setting up a Meal Train. This is the time to ask for help. You are completely capable of doing it on your own, but why? Why not let others help you? Meal Train is not just for meals being brought to your house. It allows people who live a distance from you to shower you with gift cards or donations to use towards medical bills and treatment. You’re not being selfish. You’re taking care of yourself and your family by accepting help from others. You’re allowing others to bless your life by helping you. Another thing I would highly recommend is a shower chair. There’s plenty out there for you. Here’s an example of one I found on Amazon. Begin your search with the link, and look for the one that best suits your needs. I did not get a shower chair. Hindsight being 20/20, I should have. I think the showers would have been more relaxing if I had a chair. But, I’m also quite strong- willed and wanted to know I could take a shower on my own. During the first few weeks after the bilateral mastectomy, I would shower and then nap for an hour or longer. On one particular day, the shower wore me out so much, I took a 3 hour nap. It was what my body needed. Before I forget one of the most important tools to purchase before surgery – a grabber. I kid you not, this will save you from endless frustration. Unless you have someone with you every minute of the day, you’ll drop things. And sure, your toes might have dexterity, but this grabber is an absolute game changer. It’s multi-functional. My grabber helped me press the garage door opener on the wall that was too high for me to reach, and it helped me pick up dog toys. Here are a few more things to purchase or set up before surgery: These are all recommendations to help you post-surgery. If it’s all too overwhelming, then pick out the things that’ll serve you best. This is the best time to learn to ask for help from your friends and family. Reach out to them. I’m sure they’ll gladly buy you towels, or recommend shows to binge watch, or even buy you joggers.  One of the most beautiful parts of this journey for me has been the growth I’ve experienced. I’ve learned to ask for help. I’ve learned to lean on my inner circle. I’ve learned to be more dependent on those who are willing to help. I’ve also learned there are a lot more people willing to help than I realized.  Until next time, Orsika Julia P.S. Some of the links in this blog are affiliate links. 

Cancer can be a scary word. Even though we may not want to jump to conclusions, when we hear, “You have cancer,” our minds automatically go to the worst case scenario. No matter how many survivor stories we may know, we also know of a number of people whose journey took them away from this life. We hear cancer and think, “Could that be me? Is this the beginning of the end for me?” There are steps you can take to reduce this fear or anxiety. Honestly, the first and easiest step is to listen to your care team. Whether you prefer eastern or western medicine, your care team is the most important part of your healing journey. Each team is as individual as we are.  Before you leave the hospital from any surgery, the doctors and nurses will cover your recovery journey. In the moment you may think, “I will absolutely follow each of these recommendations.” Then, reality kicks in, we start feeling better, and the recommendations are slowly put by the wayside.  After my lumpectomy and lymph node removal surgery, the recommendation was to not lift anything more than 10lbs for six weeks. By week three, I was ready to conquer the world, and I almost did. I forced myself to fully follow the recommendations for optimal healing. You see, if I would have listened to my ego instead of my care team, I could have set my journey back considerably. It is important to listen to your body as well. When you actually take a step back and listen to your body and the instructions from the medical community, I assure you, your recovery will be faster, and you will be back in action sooner. My doctor’s appointment to take a second look at the lump found six months prior was on a Tuesday. By Friday, I was on the table for the lumpectomy. We didn’t think anything of it as this is the same thing we went through five years beforehand. Only, this time, things weren’t the same. This time, it was cancer.  Twenty days later, I was back in the hospital for my lymph node removal surgery to see if the cancer spread. Thankfully, it didn’t. Since I haven’t ever had two surgeries within three weeks, I made sure to follow the discharge papers even closer than before. This time, things were different. Healing was going to take longer than expected. This time, it wasn’t just the physical healing and following the discharge papers. Emotional healing was a different kind of challenge. And in all honesty, I’m still working on the emotional healing part of all of this. The two surgeries mentioned above were relatively easy. For me, the healing process post-surgery is usually pretty seamless. I am grateful for my body’s ability to recover from injury or surgery quickly. Even still, I had to consciously be aware of not overdoing things. I’m certain people closest to me thought I was overdoing things physically. Recording two very important podcasts, going to a Tim McGraw concert, and attending my nephew’s graduation open house were all activities that helped heal my soul. But honestly, it might have been a bit much for me physically than what I should have done. Just be careful and listen to your team. You might slip up like I did, but show yourself kindness.  Up to this point, my cancer journey had been fairly easy. Yes, there were two surgeries within three weeks. Yes, there was an MRI and an extensive consultation with the plastic surgeon. Yes, the vast amounts of research and understanding new medical terminology had our heads reeling. But all in all, the recovery was simple, because the surgeries were simple.  Our journey to healing was just beginning. Cancer was still in my body. The uncertainty of it all had a few challenging moments. Knowing my care team was by my side made all the difference.  When you consider your team, remember it’s more than your surgeons, nurses, hypnotists, or energy healers. Your team is your family and friends who are willing to be by your side without judgment and respecting your boundaries. Your care team is your church or synagogue. Your care team is anyone who pours into you and loves you on this journey.  This is your season to be particular about the people around you. Your main purpose is to heal from cancer. If there is anyone who slows that down because they cause you stress and anxiety, they can wait on the sidelines. Let their feelings be hurt. It’s not about them, it’s about you. It’s about making sure you’re surrounding yourself with positivity and gratitude.  Until next time, Orsika Julia

of your cancer journey… My journey began a little over a quarter of a century ago when someone close to me was diagnosed with breast cancer. I helped as much as I was able with a new baby and one on the way. Her struggles were real – as they continue to be for anyone going through cancer. Five years ago, there was a lump in my breast found by a mammogram.That’s when Dr. Colleen App came into my life. After a biopsy, she performed an ultrasound. We kept an eye on the lump which was non-cancerous. However, six months later, I decided to have it removed. Honestly, I didn’t want something extra hanging out in my body that didn’t belong there. Thankfully, life carried on and all was well. Until, it wasn’t. For the following four years, Dr. App and I saw each other annually for ultrasounds. Mammograms were also scheduled during that time. Then, another lump was found. It behaved the same way as the first one. No big deal, right? We found it on an ultrasound and rechecked it six months later. This tumor didn’t behave cancerous. We made a plan for another surgery. After the surgery, Dr. App told us everything looked non-cancerous and to enjoy my recovery. It was the same as before. A week later, the pathology report came back and the results were clear – this tumor was not like the one before. This tumor was cancerous. We were all completely shocked. This was not the result we expected. My husband and I met with Dr. App that afternoon to create a healing plan through this journey. We spoke with her for almost two hours on a Friday. We were inundated with information. Our car ride home was quiet as we processed the information. Craig and I were four months away from celebrating our first wedding anniversary, and this is what showed up on our plates. The unexpectedness of all of this was overwhelming. Our next surgery was to ensure the cancer didn’t spread into the lymph nodes. Before the surgery, twelve days away, it was recommended to get an MRI and talk to the plastic surgeon. We heard both appointments would be challenging to get – and this is when the miracles began. I called the MRI office on Monday. There was an opening that day. I called the plastic surgeon’s office directly afterwards. There was an opening on Tuesday. Again, we were inundated with information from the plastic surgeon. Dr. Andrew Livingston took all the time we needed to explain the upcoming processes. An hour and a half later, we felt comfortable with the information and trusted his expertise. Mind you, I still went home and did a lot of research. Hours were spent filling our brains with endless information about double mastectomies, breast expanders, breast implants, and whatever else came to our minds. We opted for a double mastectomy with reconstruction instead of a lumpectomy then radiation. These decisions are so very personal. We respect everyone who’s going through this to make the decisions that are best for their journey. These decisions are not easy and life changing – no matter which path is chosen. These decisions are not to be taken lightly. Make sure you do your research, sit with the information, pray (if that’s what you do), and follow your gut instinct – no matter what others may say.  Our cancer journey doesn’t include chemotherapy or radiation. But, in upcoming blogs, I’ll share with you our journey thus far – the good, the bad, and the ugly. The information in the blogs will be personal and to the point – no fluff, and all reality. I’ll share the pain points, frustrations as well as the successes and joys. Yes, a cancer diagnosis can have its share of successes and joys. Honestly, it’s all up to you and the way you look at things. Focusing on the daily delights during my most frustrating moments has kept me grounded. Praying helps me stay in a peace-filled frame of mind. The most important part of healing is finding peace – and that’s not easy on this journey.  Until next time, Orsika Julia